Busy Until Next Week

We all know that life is cyclic.  Eon by eon, century by century, and minute by minute, we experience the rise and fall of galaxies, empires, hormones, sun tans.  The axes upon which these cycles revolve vary, and so does our ability to perceive them.  Our lives themselves may seem linear, with a definite beginning, middle and end.  This apparent linearity is evident in how different the end of life appears from the beginning.  For example, as a recently-turned 30 year old, I can hardly relate to the person I was ten years ago.  But, perhaps, this process of maturation and growth isn't so linear, as it is a first time around in my cycle.  Maybe as I age, I will seem more and more familiar to myself, until I recognize myself in all that I do, similar to that of a child.  "Really, though," my sister observed recently about her twin three-year old sons, "they act like old men sometimes." So, maybe taking a step back, we see how the extremes of life are not so different after all.  And if we take a step even farther back, we can see how we are created from the earth's matter and return to the earth at the end.  

The current axis around which my cycle revolves is the ebb and flow of exam time.  As a first year medical student, I am enrolled in two main courses at any one time.  In the beginning of the school year, I tangoed with Anatomy and Histology.  Embryology was incorporated into Histology.  The third class that runs the entire academic year is called Clinical Medicine, where we are taught exactly that, clinical medicine.  The class includes some gravy topics, like evidence-based medicine, complementary and alternative medicine and other such catchalls not included in basic medical science.

After the whirlwind of Anatomy and Histology, we began Biochemistry and Physiology.  These two classes are appreciably more interesting than the first two--because they are more than memorization, memorization, memorization--but it's still too easy to complain about them.  

In one week (here is the cycle of my life) we have our last biochem exam.  A week after than, the final physiology exam, followed by spring break, followed by the final push towards summer vacation.  

In many ways, this has been an absolutely bizarre year.  Medical school gives a certain amount of assurance about my future.  Long term, I know I will have a job that I will most likely enjoy. I know that I will not have to worry about paying off my substantial student debt and for the most part I will be able to make a difference in the lives of my patients.  But, aside from those securities, I feel completely insecure.  

Hopefully, this blog will be a respite from that insecurity, an outlet for the emotional ups and downs endemic to life as a medical student.  

So, the countdown begins.  Six more days left of biochem.  On the seventh day, I'll be able to take a breather, see a movie, relax a bit, until the cycle of stress and pressured studying begins again.  We'll see how this blog project responds to cycle.  Hopefully, it will not be my greatest accomplishment of these next four years.